Tough Luck, Valentine
by ausllydawmoon
Summary: Murphy's Quantum Law: Anything that can, could have, or will go wrong, is going wrong, all at once./Or where Austin breaks Valentine's Day. Auslly. One-Shot.


February fourteenth. It's quite possibly the most stressful day of the year. Not their anniversary, or her birthday, or the kids' birthdays, or Christmas. No, Valentine's Day makes all those other days seem like a relaxing vacation on the beach.

It's not because he's worried about her getting mad at him failing to make it romantic – she isn't like that. It's more about _him_ getting mad at _himself_ for failing to make it romantic – he _is_ like that. He always wants everything to be _perfect_ , and quite frankly that's impossible.

You'd think that after years and years and _years_ of failed Valentine's Days, he'd come to terms with the fact that there is never going to be a _'perfect'_ Valentine's Day. But he hasn't, and he refuses to rest until he finds a way to _not_ fail.

He gets up earlier than she does and decides to take a shower. Upon walking into their shared bathroom, he notices her makeup bag sitting open on the counter. Her favorite red lipstick is visible poking out of it. He gets an idea.

He shuts the bathroom door just in case she happens to wake up, and then grabs the lipstick out of her makeup bag. He uncaps it and uses it to write her a message on her mirror.

 _Happy V-Day, beautiful!_

Short, but sweet, he decides. He draws a heart underneath it and then recaps the lipstick, placing it on the counter next to her makeup bag. (No, it's not laziness; he's found that if he finds her lipstick and leaves it out on the counter, she's more likely to wear it.)

He takes a fast shower and steps out to find that the message he wrote on the mirror has been smudged a bit by the steam. So after he gets dressed, he touches up the message with the lipstick and checks the time.

He's late.

He hurriedly finishes getting ready, the lipstick forgotten on the counter. Then he all but sprints out of the house.

* * *

Austin walks through the door and finds that his house has been converted into a complete warzone. There are chairs knocked over, the living room is in shambles, and hears the faint sound of his wife's frustrated demands for Ava to _"Stop!"_ and _"Get over here!"_

He quickly leaves the flowers he brought her on the couch and rushes upstairs to see what all the commotion is. Before he can take in his surroundings, Ava runs over to him.

"Daddy, save me from mommy!"

"From – oh."

Ava's face is _covered_ in Ally's red lipstick. He wonders how she even…oh. _Oh_.

Without saying another word to the five-year-old, he races into the bathroom and finds his sweet message completely scribbled over with lipstick. The cosmetic is still open on the counter, but it's been smashed, as though someone very inexperienced drew over the mirror using way too much pressure on their utensil.

He sees a reflection in the smudged mirror and whips around to see his angry wife glaring at him.

" _Look_ what your daughter did!" she shrieks, storming over to him and gesturing to the mirror. "How did she even – I don't – and it's all over her – "

"Ally, honey, breathe," Austin tries, resting his hands on her shoulders.

"How can you – " She stops talking and gasps, narrowing her eyes at him. "It was _you_!" she exclaims. "Did _you_ give her my lipstick?!"

"N – no!" he stutters. "All I did was write a message with it on the mirror! I…I was trying to be sweet for Valentine's Day. I'm sorry, I didn't realize – "

"It's fine," she sighs. "Just…help me clean it up?"

"Of course," he says immediately. "You clean the mirror and I'll take care of Ava, okay?"

Ally nods, looking relieved that she doesn't have to chase around their daughter anymore.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Austin says weakly.

His wife gives him a small smile. "You too."

Ally goes to clean the mirror while he exits the bathroom to start his mission of catching his daughter.

First he checks her room, but she's nowhere to be found. He decides to check the living room next, and he sees Alex sitting on the couch.

"Alex, where's your sister?" he asks the three-year-old.

Alex doesn't respond, too focused on carefully plucking the petals off of each flower in the bouquet he's holding.

Which is the same bouquet Austin brought home for Ally.

" _Alex_!" he exclaims, grabbing the flowers out of his son's hands. "These were for mommy and you ruined them!" He looks at his destroyed bouquet and exhales sadly. "Just…just go to your room!"

Alex looks at him with a quivering lip and runs upstairs, his cries echoing down to the living room.

Austin groans and throws the smashed, dead flowers into the trash, running a hand down his face. But before he can dwell on this problem for too long, he remembers that he still has a daughter to find and wash off.

He walks to the kids' playroom and _finally_ sees his daughter sitting on the ground with her back to him. He sighs in relief and walks over to her, picking her up.

" _You_ have been a – " He stops talking when he sees the half-eaten heart-shaped white chocolate and raspberry cake for two on the ground. Looking at his daughter in his arms, he sees that a quarter of it is on her face and clothes, which means the other quarter must be in her stomach.

"Put me down!" Ava whines.

"Ava, that cake was for me and mommy!" Austin nearly shouts, so fed up and frustrated and feeling like a complete _failure_ that he's _this_ close to just breaking down and crying right there. "And now you've made a complete mess that _I_ have to clean up while mommy is cleaning up your _other_ mess and all we wanted was to have a nice day but you and Alex are _ruining it_!"

Ava winces at his tone, her lip quivering as she looks at him with wide, tear-filled eyes.

Austin sighs. "No, don't…"

But it's no use, and the girl's crying interrupts him. He sighs again and carries her upstairs to the bathroom, where he finds Ally already comforting a still-crying Alex.

Ally looks up at him, raising her eyebrows as if to ask him what on _earth_ he said to these kids. He puts Ava down wordlessly, and she runs over to her mother. Ally sighs and hugs her.

"She needs a bath," Austin mutters. Then he walks out of the bathroom and downstairs to start tidying up the living room.

As he picks up the pillows strewn across the carpet and places them back on the couch, he feels a few tears on his cheeks. He clenches his jaw and wipes them, wishing that frustrated crying wasn't possible.

He cleans up the flower petals littered on the floor and sets them on the counter, exhaling in disappointment. Then he cleans up the rest of the mess and sits on the couch, burying his face in his hands.

"Of all days…" he mutters to himself, running his hands through his hair and standing up again. "Ally?" he calls upstairs. "Don't come downstairs, okay?"

"Okay!" she calls back down to him.

He nods to himself and starts setting up the table for their dinner. _This_ can't go wrong. He digs the white table cloth out of the closet and clears the table so he can put it on. Then he finds the white candles he bought for this occasion and sets them in the center. He grabs their nice china plates as well as a set of utensils for each of them and places them across from each other. He hangs fairy lights from the ceiling and moves the two extra chairs at the table into the kitchen, where he notices the flower petals still sitting on the counter. An idea forms in his head.

"Well, may as well make use of these somehow," he sighs, grabbing a handful of the pink, red, and white petals and carrying them in the dining room.

He sets them around the candles in the center, and then places a few around the rest of the table. Realizing he still has a lot left, he decides to make a trail of petals leading from the bottom of the stairs to the table. It's cliché, but he and Ally are both romantics and they really deserve it after all they've been through today.

He steps back to survey his work and nods to himself, a small smile forming on his face. There's no _way_ this can go wrong.

Next he goes into the kitchen to start making Ally's favorite dinner, veggie lasagna. He doesn't know why she likes it so much because personally he thinks it tastes like landfill, but this is going to be her night, so he'll just live with it and hope that his efforts will be well-rewarded later.

Just as he's putting the lasagna in the oven, he gets a text from Dez saying that he's here with Ally's gift. Austin walks outside to meet him, and he grins at the golden retriever walking ahead of the redhead on a leash.

"Thanks for letting him stay at your house," Austin says.

"No problem, buddy," Dez replies with a grin, handing him the leash. "How's the day been?"

"Crap," Austin replies. "Everything has gone wrong, and I made the kids cry, and Ally's kinda mad at me, and the house got trashed, and – "

"Yikes," Dez interrupts. "February fourteenth is just not your day."

"I know," Austin whines. " _Every year_ something happens. But I think this is the worst year yet."

"Well, hopefully tonight makes up for it," Dez says. "The dinner and… _after_ …"

Austin rolls his eyes. "Yeah, hopefully. Thanks again."

Dez waves and leaves, and Austin brings the new puppy around to the backyard through the gate on the side of their house.

"Alright, buddy," Austin says, kneeling down and petting the dog. "You're gonna make or break this night."

The dog licks his face and Austin smiles, standing up and walking back inside.

It's a little harder to see than it was before, and he smells something burning.

 _The food._

He rushes to take the food out of the oven and then quickly disables the smoke alarm before it starts beeping. Then he fans out the kitchen as best he can and curses loudly.

"Austin?" Ally calls from upstairs.

"Everything's fine!" he calls back immediately. "I'm almost ready!"

He throws the burned lasagna away and sighs, hoping that she doesn't mind a romantic dinner with no dinner.

He closes the curtains to the backyard so Ally doesn't see the puppy and surveys the table in the dining room one more time. About as satisfied as he can get with the smell of burnt lasagna filtering into the dining room and no food to serve his wife, he lights the candles and pours the wine into the two wine glasses.

Then he carefully walks upstairs, taking caution to avoid messing up the flower petals on the ground, and walks into his and Ally's room. She must be in one of the kids' rooms, because she isn't there. He walks into his closet and finds the nice blue button up he bought the other day for this occasion. He pairs that with dark jeans and a loose tie, and then fixes his hair in the mirror.

He grabs a tissue and a pen off Ally's nightstand and writes her a note telling her to dress up, as well as a repeat of his botched note from this morning. He leaves it on the bathroom counter, knowing that she'll come in here to wash her hands before coming downstairs.

Once he's safely downstairs, he calls up to Ally, "Okay, come down!"

"Give me a few!" she calls back.

Apparently 'a few' means half an hour, but she does come down eventually.

And it was most definitely worth the wait.

She's wearing a simple, form-fitting red dress and red heels to match. Her hair is freshly curled, and she managed to apply that smashed red lipstick perfectly.

He grins at the way her face lights up when she sees everything he's set up for her. She runs the rest of the way down the stairs and over to him, hugging him tightly.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he says, hugging her back.

"Happy – wait, what is that?" She pulls away from him scrunching her nose. "Is something…burning?"

"Oh," he says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. "I, um, I was trying to cook you dinner, and…I burned it."

Ally laughs. "Of course you did."

"Yeah…and now we don't have any dinner…"

"Well, lucky for you, I didn't know you were planning this, so _I_ made _you_ dinner."

Austin sighs in relief. "I love you."

She grins. "I love you, too. I'll go heat it up, and you can calm down. I know you've been stressing all day."

Austin smiles a bit and watches her as she walks in the kitchen, wondering how he could've gotten so lucky.

She comes back with the food a few minutes later, and he helps her serve it onto their plates.

"You're amazing, you know that?" he asks her as they sit down.

"I do have my moments," she replies with a smile. "Austin, this is…incredible." She looks around at all the decorations again, smiling fondly.

"I wanted an incredible night for my incredible wife."

Ally giggles, and Austin smiles proudly at the fact that even though they've been together for fifteen years, he can still make her blush just as easily as he could when they first met.

"So…have I redeemed myself from earlier?" he asks her.

"No redemption needed," she says, taking a bite of her food. "Valentine's Days are always rough for you."

"Yes, I'm aware." He rolls his eyes good-naturedly.

"It's the thought that counts. And your thoughts are very sweet."

"Yeah, until I saw you in that dress," he mutters, taking a bite of his food too.

"Austin!" she giggles, cheeks turning pink.

He puts his hands up in mock surrender and takes a sip of his wine.

"You're horrible," she continues through her giggles. "We were having a nice, romantic dinner, and you just – "

"Provided foreshadowing for later," he suggests innocently.

Ally snorts and tries to cover it with a cough, taking a sip of her drink. Austin grins in victory.

They finish their food, and then Ally looks at him with a grin on her face. "What now?" she asks.

"Now," he says, standing up, "I have another surprise for you."

"Another surprise, hmm?"

"Yep. And it is _not_ the surprise your dirty mind is expecting," he says, pointing a finger at her.

"Oh, _I_ have the dirty mind?"

"Don't think I don't know what you thought when I said 'surprise.'" He starts walking to the back door, but then pauses and looks back at her. "Although that is still happening later. Stay here."

He walks outside and finds the puppy, grabbing its leash. "Alright, make me proud," he says quietly. Then he walks back inside, the puppy on his heels.

Immediately Ally's face lights up. "Who's this?!" she squeals, kneeling down to pet the puppy.

"He doesn't have a name yet," Austin says with a grin. "That's for you to choose."

"He's ours?" Ally asks, looking up at him. "But you said you didn't want a – "

"I've been planning this for a while," he interrupts, smiling proudly.

"I love him," she says. "I love _you_."

"I love you too. Now what're we gonna name him?!" Austin asks, kneeling down next to her to pet the excited puppy.

"Cupid," she decides, looking at him.

"I love it," he replies, pressing a light kiss to her lips.

She grins and hugs Cupid tightly before standing up. Austin walks to the hall closet and grabs the doggy bed he bought last week out from its hiding place, setting it next to the back door. Immediately, Cupid bounds over to it and makes himself comfortable.

"I had dessert for us, but Ava ate it."

Ally grins. "Lucky for you, I also got us dessert."

She walks to the freezer and pulls out two chocolate-covered-strawberry Dairy Queen blizzards. "Not exactly as romantic as that heart-shaped cake I saw you hid in the fridge, but it'll have to do."

"Nothing like fast-food ice cream and candles," Austin decides, leading her back into the dining room.

They've hardly even sat down before Cupid comes running into the room, knocking the table as he goes. Ally stands up to grab him before he can do any harm, and Austin notices too late the wobbling candles.

It's like he's watching in slow motion as two of the candles tip over, immediately lighting a napkin on fire. In a horrifying domino effect, the table cloth and the flower petals on the table light too, and before he knows it the fire has spread and his tie catches the flames.

Ally cries out in alarm as the smoke detector starts beeping for the second time that day, and Austin quickly removes his tie while Ally rushes to fill cups with water in the kitchen to try to douse the flames.

Austin's about to help her, when he sees his two tired children at the foot of the stairs, taking in the scene and, upon understanding what's happening, crying out in fear.

"Daddy!" Ava screams as Ally pours another cup of water on the table.

"Go back upstairs, everything's fine!" he says, rushing into the kitchen to help.

"Take your brother!" he hears Ally behind him.

In a few minutes they manage to put the fire out, and after calling the fire department to make sure that no one was sent out at the alarm, the exhausted couple makes their way up to their room, where they find Cupid cowering under their bed.

The puppy crawls out upon seeing them and then dives onto the bed after the two of them collapse on top of it.

"Man, what a day," Ally says.

"Worst Valentine's Day ever. I'm the worst husband ever. I couldn't even get a simple Valentine's Day to go right without ruining everything and nearly burning the house down."

"Hey," Ally says, "today wasn't _so_ bad. I mean, we _did_ have a romantic dinner, and we have a new member of the family." She reaches over to pet Cupid, who's made himself comfortable on Austin's stomach. "And things got hotter than ever," she teases.

He looks over at her blankly. "I broke Valentine's Day."

"You didn't break Valentine's Day," Ally says, rolling her eyes. "You could've _actually_ burnt the house down and I'd still love you, okay? Every Valentine's Day with you is the best Valentine's Day ever, no matter how bad you think you screw it up. As long as we're together, I don't care how much goes wrong."

Austin sighs. "I love you," he says. "All I wanted was this _one_ day to go right."

"If things went perfectly, it wouldn't have felt like a real Moon Valentine's Day," she says.

"I guess."

"And hey, we've still got _one_ more Valentine's Day thing to do, right?"

"I screwed up so bad, I don't _deserve_ sex."

"You may have screwed up, but now you can screw _me_."

Austin chokes on air and goes into a mixture of laughing and coughing, which scares Cupid so much he leaps off Austin and scurries out of the room. Ally giggles.

"I can't believe you just said that!" Austin laughs.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she teases.

"Yeah, happy Valentine's Day to you too. Now get over here."

* * *

 **me and lexy did it again. we're not sorry. happy valentine's day!**


End file.
